Nick Jaworski on the Evolution of Shame

Nick Jaworski on the Evolution of Shame

In This Episode:

Is shame really about power? Can it ever be productive? How has it evolved as we’ve evolved? Shame shows up in our culture in a variety of ways. It can be an internal experience brought on by living outside of our own values. Or it can be imposed on us by people or organizations trying to control or modify our behavior. In this episode, Nick Jaworski and Angela Levesque explore the many facets of this complex emotion. And look at some of the ways it is being used in the age of social media.


Shame Rules!

Bill Maher on Shame

About the Guest:

Nick Jaworski is a digital audio producer, podcast host, and founder of Podcast Monster, a digital audio production company. Over the past six years, Nick has been producing and editing podcasts with New York Times Best-Selling authors, thought leaders, Silicon Valley tech companies, and other entrepreneurs. His company, Podcast Monster, has produced episodes that have been downloaded over 20 million times and one of his own podcasts, Where There’s Smoke, has been recognized by publications like the A.V. Club’s Podmass.

Currently, Nick is passionate about his new show, Shame Rules!, which explores the hidden ways that shame shapes our world. Each episode explores the way that shame has helped determine the outcome of so many stories. Nick has spent 15 months carefully crafting all six episodes of Shame Rules! In hopes that by understanding how shame shapes our lives, it will help us to navigate the future in a better, more healthy way.

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Endings and Beginnings

Endings and Beginnings

When I started my YouTube channel back in 2014, it was a matter of survival. At the time, I was doing my best to fulfill the role of someone who offered spiritual guidance and support, but honestly, I had NO idea what I was doing. At least my Human self didn’t, and at that point, I don’t know that I was even aware that there was any other perspective besides Andrew’s.

Those early years (post my awakening in 2012) often felt like navigating a minefield. I never knew where the next explosion was going to occur. Nothing felt right, nothing looked right, nothing WAS right. Each day I was waking up in a life that was becoming more foreign by the minute. The burning sense of “purpose” that I felt churning in my gut was growing bigger each day, and I had NO idea how to quell it!

Most of the things I used to enjoy or spend time doing were empty and boring. Distraction and illusion were now mostly a waste of time. Of course, I doubled down on them, but that was futile too. Trust me when I tell you that I tried just about every trick in the book to go back to sleep.

It didn’t work.
It never does.

Everything that had been avoided, stuffed, numbed, or rejected, lined up to be seen, felt, experienced and integrated. It was often terrifying. I dreaded a LOT of it. I dragged my feet and tried to avoid it. I begged, pleaded, screamed, threatened, and shouted.

I wanted to quit every. Single. Day.

There were more tears, anxiety, drama, and emotional pain from 2012-2020 than I think I had experienced in the rest of my life combined. It was confusing as hell, and the precious moments of clarity were few and far between.

And yet, I kept showing up.

The truth is that I’d made a promise. On a gorgeous Los Angeles Spring day in May of 2012, when I finally surrendered and said “Yes”, I had some very simple requirements.
Standing there, with tears streaming down my face I said:

“I don’t know who you are or what you want. But if you get me back to Seattle, get me a job and an apartment, I will do whatever you say. As long as I am happy, self-employed, and helping people, I will commit and I won’t budge until you say so.”

In that moment, unbeknownst to me, what I had really committed to was a life of service. I didn’t know it at the time, but the promise was one I’d made to my Self. This is not a bell you can “un-ring”. Once you’re awake, you can’t go back to sleep. No take backs!!

What I also didn’t know is that this life of service was to begin with me. In order to authentically do the work I came here to do, I had to first remember how to do it. Basically, if I was going to be a healer, the best way for me to re-hone my skills was by first healing myself. In typical Andrew form, I decided the fastest way for me to remember how to swim, was to jump into the pool!

At least I was clever enough to set things up in this lifetime in a way that allowed my own healing to be an example for others. By agreeing to share my journey publicly, I created a reality where our paths could be parallel. Not only going through my own journey of rediscovery, reconnection, and remembrance, but at the same time sharing wisdom, teachings, and insight that could, in turn, support you in your journey. This also allowed me to form my practice into something that would support me in return. I have to say, it was kinda perfect.

In 2015, I was visiting a friend in San Francisco. Out of nowhere, I got the nudge to move. I was standing in Dolores Park having coffee, and just like that, I felt the pressure valve release. I was now free to roam the world again. That is to say, after [what ended up being] four years of staying put in Seattle and honoring my commitments, it was time for me to strike out on my own once more.

So, in 2016 I began my 7 stop, 5 year, cross country, transatlantic journey. During this period, I went through another rapid corridor of acceleration and expansion.

I thought I knew who I was.
I thought I knew what healing was.
I thought I knew what surrender was.
I thought I understood unconditional love and compassion.
I was wrong.

I knew nothing.

The next 5 years showed me that what I had was an academic understanding of these concepts. I had yet to truly live and embody them.
I landed in LA in 2018, thinking that finally I had come to a resting place.

Wrong again.

In late 2019, I got the message to leave LA and move to Colorado. I arrived thinking that this would be a temporary stop before moving on to my next destination. Then the bottom fell out of my practice, as the bottom fell out of the world.

2020 found me (like most of us) having a lot of time to get crystal clear on the current state of my life. More than anything it was one existential question after another.

What did I really want from my life?
How did I want to show up in service?
Was I truly offering valuable content and showing up as a catalyst for remembrance and reconnection?
Was I creating clarity in the collective?
Or was it simply more noise?

I didn’t like a lot of the answers that came from these questions. I didn’t like being plunged into yet another round of excavating myself. I didn’t WANT to unearth more of “my stuff”!! Couldn’t this just be DONE ALREADY!?!

Clearly the answer was: “No”.

Despite my resistance, what I found through 2020 was surprising in the best way.
Things had gotten easier.
Yes, there were still tears, fears, and anger, but it was different. I didn’t resist letting go like I used to. I wasn’t afraid of my shadow anymore. I didn’t run from the gray areas of my life.
There was a spaciousness in my energy field that I had often suspected was there, but had seldom experienced for more than a second or two. Now, inner peace and quiet were the rule and not the exception.
Suddenly I was aware of inner changes via the absence of things.
The absence of fear.
The absence of doubt.
The absence of judgments about myself and others.

For the first time, I think EVER in this life, things were easy.
Things were OK.
I wasn’t worried or on edge.
I felt at home.
Most importantly, I felt like Me.

On the heels of this realization came big Remembrance.
I pierced the veil.
As in I finally remembered why I came back.
I remembered what the whole point of this experience called Andrew was in the first place.
So what exactly IS the point of all this? That is a REALLY good question!

I do have one…I promise.

I’ve shared with you how my practice has built itself around me sharing my experiences. This is the mechanism that allows people to use my journey as a template for their own healing. Humans have this amazing ability to mirror what we see in another. When you see a human doing something that you previously thought was not possible, it immediately unlocks that possibility and potential within you. Now you have some new spaces to explore.

Even when all the technical difficulties of living in rural Colorado (crappy internet) hindered the monthly Energy Transmissions, rather than see that as an opportunity to heed the call and make some changes, I just pretended to ignore it. I tried to convince myself that the poor signal didn’t really matter, and that you were still getting what you needed.

Then I watched some of the recent live stream videos on my YouTube channel. I saw that entire chunks of dialogue were missing because the signal had dropped during the live broadcast. No wonder I had gone from 17K views per video to less than 2K per installment.

Even at my laziest and most deluded, I can’t pretend production quality such as that is something that I proudly put my name on.

So, when February started coming around, I felt a pit growing in my stomach. I knew it was time to do my monthly video, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to fight the crappy internet and end up with another choppy, half assed video. The truth was that I felt like I had been phoning it in for the past few months. For me it’s always going to begin with the resonance of what I am doing. If that’s not there, then I know it’s time to make a change.

To be honest, The Lighted Ones and AmarOsiris have been calling me to this change for a while, but I have resisted. Another side effect of refusing to heed the call to change was that I found myself increasingly feeling like I was just regurgitating the same old messages. I didn’t even know what I would share in a video anyway! But frankly all of that felt inconvenient, and I had a bit of resistance left in me. So, I just decided to pre-record the February video like I used to.

Then it was the glitch parade.

For 3 days, I edited, recorded, and perfected the video over and over, and each time I was foiled by some technical glitch or another. I could have easily just screamed “DAMN YOU MERCURY RETROGRADE!!” at the sky and tried again. And I almost did.
Until yesterday.
When, at the precipice of my final attempt at producing a video, I stopped.

“This isn’t what I want. This doesn’t feel true anymore”.

But what will I share if not a video? How will I make money?! How will people FIND ME?! What will happen?!?

Then The Lighted Ones knocked on the door:

“We have been eagerly awaiting this intersection. We have known these changes were coming and have been communicating them to you for some time. Your path has taken you far and wide over the past few years. We have watched with great honor as you have reclaimed your Mastery. We have watched with great excitement as you have welcomed yourSelf home. The journey of healing is the journey of returning to your Self. As you return to the center of Self and reclaim your place among the stars, your journey of healing shifts. You are now stepping into Realization and this is an entirely different phase. You are no longer carrying your broken self with you. You are no longer spending the bulk of your time and attention clearing and releasing. The need for spending time in spaces devoted to the initiation of healing has passed. The time for helping people gather the fundamental truths of their spiritual life is over. There are countless bright souls who are waiting to take up the mantle of supporting people on their journey to awakening. You are now called to support people on their journey to Realization. We are here to humbly request that you step back, join us in the fold, and allow us to speak through you once again. We suggest that doing this via written posts will be the most effective way to communicate the information that will be shared through you now.”

Sounds good to me, guys! Let’s do it!

So, here I am. FINALLY sharing the post that has taken me 4 days to get to.

What does all of this mean for Andrew Martin Energy?
I don’t know.
What does this mean for my YouTube channel?
I don’t know.

What I do know is this is a leveling up.
This is a beginning wrapped in an ending.
This is Change with a capital “C”.
I know that it means I won’t be sharing monthly Energy Transmissions on YouTube like I used to.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not going anywhere. I am committed to this path of service for the entirety of this life time – which, by my calculations has about 284 years to go.
I assume I will continue to engage through video, but I don’t know that for sure.
I know that what The Lighted Ones and AmarOsiris are going to share is going to be amazing, but I don’t know exactly what it is. Though I do have some ideas.
I know that further down the path, YayFlowers will emerge as an extension of my healing practice.

I also know that for some of you, this may be the moment when our paths diverge, and that’s ok too.
It’s all ok.
It always has been.

Why am I sharing this with you?

Mostly because I want to. You deserve to hear from me as to why things are once again shifting and morphing. You have continued to show up and support me. Some of you have even been with me since the first video in 2014! It would have been really easy for me to simply ghost and drop off the radar, but that didn’t feel right,
For better or for worse, I have done my best to be honest and transparent in sharing my journey.

So, why should I stop now?
Sure, things are going to change, but I’ll still be here.

What I know is that if you stick around, we’re going to explore some really amazing places together.
What I know is that if you decide to walk this path of Realization with me, it’s going to blow all of our minds!
What I know is that the next phase of this journey is going to see many of the things we’ve been talking, dreaming, and visioning about finally come into form.
What I know is that no matter where we go from here, I love you and I bless you.
Thank you for all that you are.

I love you,

On Sunday, February 14th, (yay, Valentine’s day!) I am hosting the first-ever Group Sphere Healing. I’m doing if via Zoom starting at 10AM MT. I would love to see you there, It’s gonna be amazing! Follow the link to find out more and sign up.

If you feel the work I offer is of value, please consider making a donation. Your generous offerings make a very real difference in my life. Thank you.

For more information on Andrew visit his website at

Andrew Martin

Andrew Martin

Energy Intuitive and Personal Transformation Guide

Andrew Martin is a highly attuned Energy Intuitive and Personal Transformation Guide. A series of transcendent and clairaudient experiences beginning in 1995 and climaxing in 2012, left him suddenly awakened and on an accelerated path of expansion and evolution.

His ability to take high level, often abstract spiritual knowledge and make it practical and accessible is bringing revolutionary insight to the world. His humorous, compassionate, and down to earth approach assists people in creating powerful, lasting, changes. His work is the catalyst for life altering shifts and transformation.



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Finding Your Purpose

Finding Your Purpose

Currently, I am in the midst of a BIG shift in my life as I keep building the dream of Yay Flowers. The process of bringing this flower farm into form has given so many opportunities to reflect on my past. The question of purpose has been coming up a LOT. Yay Flowers is my 7th entrepreneurial venture. I realized that having had several of my own businesses, I have some perspective to share on life purpose and how to access it. I also share some practical tips on how to activate your life purpose starting now. Thanks for watching!



For more videos from Andrew Martin visit his YouTube Channel

Andrew Martin

Andrew Martin

Energy Intuitive and Personal Transformation Guide

Andrew Martin is a highly attuned Energy Intuitive and Personal Transformation Guide. A series of transcendent and clairaudient experiences beginning in 1995 and climaxing in 2012, left him suddenly awakened and on an accelerated path of expansion and evolution.

His ability to take high level, often abstract spiritual knowledge and make it practical and accessible is bringing revolutionary insight to the world. His humorous, compassionate, and down to earth approach assists people in creating powerful, lasting, changes. His work is the catalyst for life altering shifts and transformation.



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Beauty, Surrender and Our Sensual Experiences

Beauty, Surrender and Our Sensual Experiences

In this special edition of the Chaos & Light Podcast, Andrew Martin co-hosts with Angela Levesque. Andrew and Angela both speak and write on subjects in spirituality, consciousness, and personal growth. They decided to come together once a month to dive deep into these subjects in a light and playful way. 

In this episode they discuss:

  • Cleaning out our literal and metaphoric junk drawers
  • The value in surrender and release
  • Why beauty and aesthetics are essential for our well-being
  • Humans as sensual beings
  • The return to making things and why creativity to so important to our nature

Subscribe to the Podcast Directly on iTunesSpotify, Google Podcasts or Spreaker


Andrew Martin

Isha Lerner Pick a Card Tarot


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Healing Your Inner Child Guided Meditation

Healing Your Inner Child Guided Meditation

This inner child guided meditation is part of a weekly Living Light Meditation gathering in the Chaos & Light Community. This meditation takes you through a brief guided relaxation to remove any resistance. It then invites you to connect with your inner child to ask them what they need for their healing. You may find their message for you is inviting you to bring more lightness and play to your life. Or they may be asking you for some deeper recognition of unhealed trauma and emotions. Honor your child’s message and return to this practice as many times as is needed. If you uncover something that seems too big for you to handle, don’t hesitate to seek out the assistance of our counselor or therapist. 

Inner Child Meditation Script

(Copyright Angela Levesque)

We are going to begin by taking three deep cleansing breaths.
Taking a little bit longer on the out-breath, letting the body completely release and relax on the exhalation.

Now I want you to follow the flow of the breath as it moves through your body. Not trying to alter the flow, just letting it move easily and freely through the body.

Take a moment to call yourself back from where ever you have been during the day. Draw your energies back home to your center. Bringing mind, body, and energy into the here and now.

Allow your mind to empty what it no longer needs to hold on to, let it go, flow out and away. And allow your body to release what it no longer needs to hold on to, letting it flow out and away.

We will do a short guided relaxation to remove any resistance and move the body into a place of deep calm.

I want you to bring your attention to the top of your head. I want you to imagine a wave of relaxation beginning at the scalp and moving slowly downwards.

Feel the wave of peace and relaxation move down the face. Allowing the muscles around the eyes to release and relaxand the muscles of the jaw release and relax as the wave of relaxation continues to move slowly downward.

The wave of relaxation moving down now through the neck and the shoulders. Feel the shoulders drop as they release the tension you’ve been carrying. Using the exhalation as a way to move deeper into the release.

Now the wave of relaxation moves down through the muscles of the chest and abdomen. Bringing release and relaxation to the whole front of your torso.

Feeling the wave of relaxation moving through the back – moving down from the upper back, mid-back, lower back. Feeling the muscles release and relax all the way down the spine.

Feel the deep sense of peace and relaxation in your whole upper body

Now imagine this wave of relaxation moving through the hips. Breathe into that area as you bring your awareness in your root. Letting the breath open the hips and remove any tension.

Now the wave of relaxation moving down into the thighs – the upper thigh, mid thigh, lower thigh. Moving down to the knee. Bringing with it awareness and deep release.

Now the wave of relaxation moves over the knee and into the lower leg. Feeling the flow of the breath and relaxation move down the calves.

And finally, the wave moving all the way down into the soles of the feet, allowing any last bits of tension to flow right out the soles of your feet and into the earth.

And now that you are in a calm, relaxed and safe space…I want you to imagine yourself in a beautiful setting…this could be a meadow, your backyard, a mountain top. Just someplace that you feel safe, comfortable, and at peace.

For the next few moments, take in this setting with all of your senses. The sounds, the smells, the sights. Breathing it all in………..Letting all of the colors, sounds and smells bring a vibrancy to your being as you breathe them in.


You begin to notice a faint outline of a child coming toward you. As this child moves closer, you notice that this is you as a little child. Take a moment to notice their hair, body, eyes.

The age that you are. Notice your child’s attitude, expressions. Are they looking at the ground, are they curious, are they sad?

Invite your child to sit next to you at whatever distance is comfortable for them. As they sit next to you, you notice that you can see and feel….. as they see and feel.

What does the world look like from their eyes? How does the world feel from their perspective?

Turning to your child, ask them – What do you need most from me? Allow the child to answer in whatever way is most comfortable for them..a drawing, a gift, through words. However, they express it is exactly how it needs to be done.


If you are able to give your child what they need from you at this moment, please go ahead and do so. If they ask for something that you cannot give right at this moment, tell your child what you can give and if it is something that is possible in the future, tell your child when this will be possible and give your child a symbolic promise for the future.


Now ask your child is there anything they wish for you to hear?


Take a moment now, if you are not already, to sit facing them. And if it is alright, hold their hands in yours. Look at your child in the eyes and then tell you love them………you honor them………. you hear them………… and they have always been enough.


If that feels complete. Ask your child if they are ready to come home with you today. If your child is not ready to come home with you today, tell them you will return…….thank them for their time……… and let them know that you will continue to honor them and work toward being together one day.

And if your child has chosen to come with you today. Give them a moment to say goodbye to their surrounding….allow them to collect anything they need for their journey….. and invite them home.

This can look however you want, holding hands, a heart to heart connection, a full integration of self. Whatever is most comfortable for both of you at this moment.

Allow this integration to occur, bringing you both into wholeness, balance, and harmony.


And when this integration process feels complete. Spend a moment in your heart center in gratitude.

In deep appreciation for your inner child, for the experiences that made you who you are today. 

Let this appreciation move through your entire body. Letting gratitude fill every part of your being.


And when you are ready, take a few deep breaths connecting you to your body. Feeling your body make contact with the chair, floor or bed beneath you.

Bringing your full awareness to the room around you.

Wiggling your fingers and your toes…….gently shrugging your shoulders. Bringing your full attention and awareness back into your body……back into your room…… and when you are ready, allowing this sense of calm, peace, and centeredness to remain in the body as you open your eyes – aware and alert.


Music credit by meditative…
Photo credit




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Jacob Nordby on Self Love & Dealing with Uncertainty

Jacob Nordby on Self Love & Dealing with Uncertainty

How does uncertainty affect our creative capacity? Why do we become more narrow and rigid when things feel outside of our control? On this episode of the podcast, author Jacob Nordby and Angela Levesque touch on a variety of topics ranging from curiosity to creativity to self-love. Jacob shares a very personal story that illustrates our ability to find calm amidst a storm and how simply taking a moment to breathe can change everything.


Divine spectacle 2:20
Jacob Nordby 8:18
It’s Worth Your Time 1:12:05


Blessed Are the Weird: A Manifesto for Creatives

About the Guest

Jacob NordbyJacob Nordby is the author of The Divine Arsonist: A Tale of Awakening and Blessed Are the Weird – A Manifesto for Creatives. His words have been translated into many languages and shared around the world. He leads the Creative UnBootcamp course for students around the world and offers transformational group retreats and individual creative guidance sessions. His third book, The Creative Cure, is set to release by Hierophant Publishing on February 16, 2021, with a foreword by Julia Cameron. Meet him at

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